How do you unlearn being who you have always been your whole life? It’s not a witch hunt that we do on our self, it’s a natural process I am talking about, a lot of the obvious things have been dealt with in your life and then it’s like a mask is taken off other more subtle things that have disguised themselves as normal, acceptable, within reason or as being of no consequence.
I have heard different people say from time to time, ‘all of a sudden I realised I shouldn’t be doing ‘that’ any more (whatever ‘that’ is), and ‘it just wasn’t right for me to do ‘that’ or be like that any more’, that didn’t mean it was wrong for someone else to do the very same thing, but no longer right for that person, our conscience soon lets us know these things and it isn’t easy to ignore our conscience for too long. Something that has been part of the ‘norm’ and run of the mill all of a sudden just doesn’t work any more it just simply doesn’t fit in and each time you sense it it’s like a huge clanging gong going off.
I lay in bed talking to God a few weekends ago, talking it out with God, coming to Him and spilling what was on my mind and heart, there has been just a little bit of a struggle going on inside me and I really couldn’t see a way out of it, the only choice was to continue to go through. How do people do things that they feel are beyond their capability? And, why are SOME things so tough to work through? Why do SOME things have such a strong grip over us? There are many answers to these questions but perhaps one huge reason is that that particular thing has probably been a part of us for SOOOO long and maybe we always thought it was fine because at the time it was. Maybe we never considered it as wrong or maybe we did but it the past it was not a problem.
Then one day another test comes along and we see how this ‘thing’ causes us to handle everything else and how it has an effect on us too. That’s the point where most people have to sit up and think about what needs to happen next in order for things to truly change, and the place to start is within. It’s easy for me to tell you what to do, what will help, how to change and what to deal with, but am I willing to give myself the same advice? Really I think if I advise you I should be willing to apply the same advice (A.K.A medicine) to my situation.
‘Me’ is made up of so many facets, some of them are bright and shiny and some need to be ground away a little to reveal the shiny surface underneath. Just because this is the way something has always been doesn’t mean it’s the right way or the best way for that matter, but when the light goes on and all is revealed then it’s time to do the hard yards. We have to ‘see’ something first and experience it to give us the motivation and desire to change. It’s no good everyone else seeing it and most of them probably can’t even tell us to change anyway because we wouldn’t accept it from them, but once we’ve seen it then hopefully a quest begins for betterment.
There is no easy way to unlearn who you have been for your whole life, it’s a matter of process and choices, but we come to a point where the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of the change, and so then we allow God into these well hidden areas. This is when the retraining begins… did you notice the word re-train has ‘train’ in it, train is a verb a doing word so that means we can’t just passively sit and hope to change or grow, it involves learning and practice.
If your life is growing then at some point you will have to make the choice to ‘grow through and go through’, when you reach it may you have grace to keep moving forward. Once you reach this point be thankful that you are getting closer to the goal! As we go forward we call out to God to endow us with grace for the journey, grace for every step of the way.
I am retraining me in many ways! The muscles are being exercised on changing my priorities, my boundaries with situations and people, my thinking patterns are under close scrutiny, things that I need and want are being given a work out and seeing if they stand the test of remaining a part of me and my life or being reshaped or removed. I can tell you I am feeling the pain and it may take a while but I know that underneath all that, that the pain is causing the muscles to strengthen and grow and they will then be able to carry a different load in the future.
As my friend has says STRENGTH FOR TODAY and COURAGE FOR THE FUTURE. I add to that… one foot in front of the other makes for a journey forwards!
~The Reformation of Me – Written October 2010~
~Word For Life~
The act of reforming or the state of being reformed. Improvement (or an intended improvement) in the existing form or condition.
Reformation ends not in contemplation, but in action. ~George Gillespie~
Reformation, like education, is a journey, not a destination. ~Mary Harris Jones~
To reform a world, to reform a nation, no wise man will undertake; and all but foolish men know, that the only solid, though a far slower reformation, is what each begins and perfects on himself. ~Thomas Carlyle~
A reformation happens every time you open the Bible. ~Darienne Hall~
2 Corinthians 3:18
But we all, with our face having been unveiled, having beheld the glory of the Lord as in a mirror, are being changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Lord Spirit.
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