~The Offenders in our life….~
Offense has been at my door. It’s been standing that pounding on it for days. And even going to look through the window to see who’s there, when I really already know, is giving him entrance.…
For me offense is tied up in hurt, rejection, insecurities. It makes me behave in a way that is opposite to how love should be and its opposite to the way that I want to be my default setting to be.
When I react out of offense it doesn’t come from hate, it comes from an area in my life that has been wounded, bruised, broken, and this makes it hard to distinguish and deal swiftly with.
Because some kind of hurt is involved it confuses matters, and blurs the lines of what to me are usually very clear.
The only thing that will help here is bringing it to the throne, not the current perceived hurt but the place where the initial wounding took place.
I am probably not even aware of what this was and the consequent experiences of life have taught me that each case was different when really they are all instigated because of an initial experiences and a response that set up a behaviour pattern.
And of course hurts, rejections, disappointments all come from people that also are living this cycle too however we are the only ones who can break this cycle as we may be the only one in a relationship that is aware of it… We can’t force someone else to become aware, awareness that changes usually comes from our own insight which only comes via personal realisation.
When I look at it this way, after dissecting it like this it does actually help me to rise up, out and over offense.
And then I need His grace in cases with the repeat offenders in my life (lol pardon the pun) and also to know how to deal with each and what the healthy boundaries are and how to practically uphold them much is easier said than done.
Thankfully awareness although painful as it can be, is a key to change and freedom.
Just something to think about….