Control or lack thereof…

Control or lack thereof… I don’t like tension…. It takes me back to childhood memories of anger, family fights, situations beyond my control and trying to keep everyone happy, and then feeling responsible for things I couldn’t change. When something is about to happen or does in fact happen, that causes any kind of tension, even to this day I want to fix it…. to stop it. Its like I always know what is going to happen and I want to prevent the inevitable outcomes, any explosions, outbursts or people sparking off each other. That is how I learnt to cope as a child. I wanted to keep everything calm and smooth it over. Now when I encounter any situation like that I want to do the same thing… I want to keep the peace, mind you it’s not normal to live with that mentality of trying to keep peace…. When…

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