I tend towards peace

I tend towards peace…. I always tend towards peace. Tension aggression, shouting, swearing, loud voices, accusations, ranting, always immediately cause me to shut my gates.  Ok so I have told you all before, I grew up with a lot of that… Not the swearing though, but raised voices, accusations, arguments, verbal tirades, they could go on for hours and hours. You may not have been the one on centre stage taking the floor and being pulled to pieces but once it started everyone got a chance.   I shudder to think about those many many many times now, and actually I only remember them as a whole the details are very much a blur and I’m more than happy for them to stay that way. I wonder if I was the person I am now what would I have done back then but that would never have been possible.  …

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Precious precious peace….

~Precious precious peace….~ Ah for peace… I crave peace… I grew up in a tense household with many heightened emotions displayed… to say the least, things spoken and things unspoken. One of the adverse affects of this on me is that I just cant cope with tension, anger, raised voices, with stress even if its not directed at me. I have grown so much, and I am most certainly not who or what I used to be… I am a very different woman, but in times when I am low, more than others, I recoil if I sense these things, I want it to stop. My immediate response is in my back… I can feel it in the middle of my back as weird as it might sound. I want to back away and I will say anything to have it over as soon as possible or shorten the conversation…

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