Floating… The test of trust…



The test of trust…

Since I have been out walking regularly again this last few months, and sharing thoughts and ponderings with you, there has been a recurrent theme. It’s been all about water, the ocean and the sea.

An image of me floating in the sea is equivalent to the trust game. I may have shared this with you before but when I was a young child at a friends birthday pool party I nearly drowned. At least that’s what it felt like to me.

I managed to get myself out and I never told anyone about this incident. To me this is symbolic of where I learned look after myself, perhaps allow fear in, and not trust other people?

After this incident, from this point I refused to learn how to swim at school. I went with other kids in my class to the swimming pool but I refused to have lessons to teach me how to swim.

Then when I was in my early 20’s I learnt how to swim with a girlfriend of mine who also was not confident. Perhaps this is symbolic of a point in my life when I began to learn to trust?

What has all this to do with water you may ask? It has to do with my version of the trust game. I believe in reality there are few people we can really trust. People are human and so they will let us down.

So my trust game begins at the beach in the water. Floating in the water is my picture of trust. Right now my feet still need to touch the bottom and I can’t simply lay back and flights.

I know it sounds crazy but to this is my picture of trust. And in my picture ocean the water is God. I know I can trust God he is the only one, but I still can’t float freely.

So it’s my mental exercise to learn to trust God by floating, even if it is in my mind, the thing at this point is I still can’t let go.

How we feel about God is usually a picture of how we feel about people and experience and habit has taught us that people are not to be trusted.

So I will continue to try to allow myself to float in my mind and learn to trust, I mean float 😉

~Cam Richmond~

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