At times I have struggled a bit with my faith…. not exactly with my faith, but staying strong in it. Seeing all that is happening around us, and wondering how on earth we can go forward in this world that is shuffling towards so many cliff edges?
It’s hard seeing these things happen around us, and it can really start to get to us… so scary to watch the vehemence of people against Christians, against our core beliefs, the judgment affronting us.
I felt heavy and burdened. I felt so disappointed and saddened by so much I was seeing, and from watching different people in leadership positions in some churches continue their march towards blending with the world. I felt like, that we as Christians are not fighting in the battle that we need to fight and that we had gotten sidetracked by many things. Seeing non-Christians adopt all kinds of morals and beliefs is different to seeing people of faith adopting new kinds of interpretations, beliefs, and morals. How saddened must the Lord be?
I think it all just got too much, it felt too much. I KNOW that none of this is my burden to carry, but being someone who will see things, and not shy away or pretend everything is ok with the world, it was my undoing. I got out of balance… the troubles of this world made me collapse.
Then Christmas came along and I love all the pretty decorations and the pretty lights and I allowed them to distract me from the heaviness I felt and bring me some joy and gladness and I have allowed myself to stay there.
You see I had started to feel like I really didn’t know how to approach people to share the Lord with them anymore, that most people really don’t want to know about him and are so far from him. I gave up. I knew that this was a momentary lapse and I knew that the Lord understood my weakness…
However, as time went by I felt like I couldn’t forgive myself for being negligent in such an important mission. I was right out of balance… and so not being able to face the Lord I have continued to stay in this silly place of not letting this all go and forgive myself and pick up again.
I need the Lord to show me how to pick up again… I am sure that I am not the only one to feel these things, perhaps over different matters.
The weight in my life has to be on the side of the Word, not the world. I will allow the Lord to pick me up again and give me the footing I need for the coming year.
I don’t know how it all works, I don’t understand everything that is happening, I don’t know all the answers. I must be reminded that God holds us all in his hands and that His plans will be established.
When my faith is attacked and I wonder about all kinds of things, I must come back to the core of my faith and remind myself that I believe in Father God, the creator of the universe and all things. I can’t believe in evolution… there has to be meaning and purpose in life, there just has to be.
I am not writing this for any pity, or advice, but merely to share where I am at and that we are all in various stages and that He will see us through and then we will keep going and loving and serving him as we desire.
God bless you one and all as we head into 2018.
We do not know that the future holds but we know who holds the future.
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