The journey of ‘unfolding revelation’ in my life continues… From time to time patterns show themselves in my thoughts, words, actions and FEELINGS and when I realise this I need to have a little bit more of a peek and ask God about it too.
Something that’s been coming to light for me is about validation and affirmation. What do those two words mean to you? Do you care? Do you need affirmation or validation or is it no skin off your back? In a healthy family there will be balance between affirmation and truth and love and all the rest. By realising this I can see where the lack of affirmation and validation in my childhood left an empty space.
I think everyone needs these two things in their lives. I think we are meant to receive them in our families. But as we all know with so many people that have never received them in their own families its not always easy to give to the next generation. There are so many who don’t know how to give it to others.
I always knew my mum loved me and I knew that she was proud of me but I also knew it was somehow those words couldn’t come out of her mouth. She just didn’t express them to me. From time to time some family friend or relative would tell me ‘Oh mum said you were doing …..’, ‘Mum said…’ but she never ever told me. Mostly she only knew how to deliver more negative comments, or she would add… ‘You should have done it this way’. Of course I grew up to do things MY way and not the way she did things. I grew up knowing how important it was to affirm people and probably that is the thing that flows most freely from me. I just don’t know how NOT to do that.
It wasn’t something that I had really noticed before, but lately I became aware that I really responded when someone particularly gave me affirmation. And i particularly noticed that if an older woman, or even slightly motherly figures gave me affirmation it really hit the spot of love.
I’ve noticed it always fills my love tank when I have those women in my life… I’m not asking anyone for anything but when I receive it… I sense it strongly and I know it hits that spot. God has truly blessed me by placing these amazing strong, loving, guiding women in my life.
Really what God wants me to do is to bring this sore spot to Him for him to bring His healing and love into. No biggie but God desires for us to be free… Whom the Son sets free will be free indeed.
Just something to think about!