All kinds of no….

  All Kinds of No… There is a ‘no’ that is perfect for every situation. There are many kinds of no that I still need to learn. I have grown and changed so much over the years that in some ways I barely recognize myself but there are still some no’s I haven’t conquered. No’s aren’t always completely obvious, they aren’t always seen as a no, perhaps more so as an answer, or to me often a polite response. No’s let other people know where we stand, what we like, don’t like, what we fear, what we welcome, what we feel uncomfortable with, what is unacceptable, what we don’t want to hear, what we don’t want to do, what we don’t want to experience. No is sometimes hard to conquer when you have grown up with a strong parent, or an over bearing parent, which was a large part of my growing up years, and my…

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Living in the Shadow of Shame

The shames of the past actually don’t remain in the past; they walk with us each day unannounced but make themselves felt in every choice and decision that we make and in every reflection we see of ourselves… I have been thinking a lot about shame… Its not something that I have ever given time to consider before in my life although there are things that I am ashamed of and hide from in my life. Things have been revealing themselves as shame and I have started to see a pattern emerging in me and many people around me. How many of our reactions and responses are hopes and dreams are coloured by shame… and the shame is not just over things that we ourselves have done. I have been reminded lately of shames connected with family and parents… the same in every family really and often how they affect us…

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When I Need Love…

When I was many years younger I don’t think I knew what it was truly like to feel loved and accepted. I knew my parents loved me but I don’t think they knew how to show it. I was so desperate for love and affection and acceptance and that feeling of peace and safety that we all long for. I grew up in a dysfunctional family and there wasn’t much peace in that house. I found this love and acceptance in and with other people that God had placed around me at that time, and although I was well into my teens by then, I was still like a little child, hungry for that love and peace, and the space to just be myself and not feel any tension or that I just didn’t meet up to certain standards. I think this was probably the point at which I transferred my…

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