My Lifetime AAA Rating

  Don’t you just long to be told by someone that they are proud of you? Its something that we strongly desire as children without even knowing it and I don’t believe that desire ever truly goes away. I think that its just masked by the shell and the toughened exterior we develop or the coping mechanisms that we employ to ‘cover up’ the need altogether. I always knew I was loved but I don’t believe that I was ever encouraged or affirmed in my childhood. To some extent what we need the most are those occasional moments that we receive from someone that genuine conversation when they tell us how special we are, what we mean to them and how they feel about us, rather than just ‘good boy Johnny’. I have a sense that in my wider family that’s how it was, we knew we were loved but…

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The Holy Grail of Love

Our mothers and our fathers can not save us and rescue us in the way we long for them to. As children our natural instinct, which is actually perhaps a supernatural instinct is to look to them for all of that. Sadly there are so many parents which devastate this undertaking to care for us, by their own frailty, their wounds and weaknesses or even by who they have become now, which may be just very hard or cold.Where did all this come from in them? Ironically from the same type of wounds that we may have received from them, either purposely or unwittingly. So still today, whether they have hurt us or not, we are longing for this rescue, saving, nurture and so much more from them and they may not themselves be able to give or receive what it is we long for. This supernaturally natural instinct is…

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A sore spot…

A sore spot… The journey of ‘unfolding revelation’ in my life continues… From time to time patterns show themselves in my thoughts, words, actions and FEELINGS and when I realise this I need to have a little bit more of a peek and ask God about it too. Something that’s been coming to light for me is about validation and affirmation. What do those two words mean to you? Do you care? Do you need affirmation or validation or is it no skin off your back? In a healthy family there will be balance between affirmation and truth and love and all the rest. By realising this I can see where the lack of affirmation and validation in my childhood left an empty space. I think everyone needs these two things in their lives. I think we are meant to receive them in our families. But as we all know with…

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